This week I just completed the first major stage of my web site remodel.
What this means is you can now find me at LivingIntuitivecounseling.com and BirthIntuitive.com all in the same location. I invite you to check out the new site.
As I was reviewing my ezine archives I came upon Tis the Season, a piece I wrote 5 years ago.
It’s timelessness struck me. So here it is for your enjoyment. Photo below by Jeanne Barriera.
Tis the Season to Feel Our Grief and Sorrow
This year, a significant number of my clients have experienced loss and transition. Whether it was a miscarriage, infant loss, death of a family member, pet, or a relationship ending in divorce; I had the privilege to support you with my Intuitive Midwifery skills.
What strikes me time and time again, is the utter disregard embedded deep within our culture for acknowledging and supporting the grief process.
Because of this disregard, too many grievers hide and stuff their needs for grieving in a healthy manner, thereby hindering their healing.
Unfortunately, the holiday season is a time when the land mines of grief reemerge unbidden. This is not a time we are feeling jolly, but when our grief comes forward unheeded and on full volume.
This has been an intense year. I have observed around me, that there is not one of us who has not been impacted this year by a loss. If not within our own personal lives, then by someone close by.
During this season, what each of the cultural and religious groups are celebrating is the return of light and hope into our lives. Our days start getting longer and we slowly start the rotation towards summer.
So with the return of light and hope, lets remember to honor the grief.
The gift or seed that lies within grief’s inherent physical and emotional pain; is the opportunity to open up and break through to patterns and a new self.
I believe that an authentic journey of grief necessities REBIRTH.
Grief is messy, liberating, empowering and a tool for transformation and transcendence.
Below I am sharing some concrete suggestions of how to honor your grief process during this time of light, hope and rebirth.
- Choose your social engagements consciously. Pick only the settings, and social gathering which will feed you. It can take an amazing amount of energy to maintain being jolly and “appropriate” to hide what is real for us.
So what might feed you more may be a smaller dinner party; or a gathering of friends playing games. As opposed to a large festive holiday gathering.
- Nourish and maintain traditions that feed your soul. For example, over the past 8 years I have hosted a tea party at our local tea house. This is a tradition I have chosen to maintain this year. However, decorating the house feels like a waste of my energy and resources so I am letting that one go for this year.
- Move some activities into January a time of year when there is a sudden drop off of activities and it is just as cold and dreary outside. This way you and the friends and family you really want to connect with can meet and really recharge.
- Give yourself PERMISSION FROM ME to stay inside, and BE versus GO GO GOing. There are deep and valuable gifts to be archived from taking inner time. This will necessitate saying No to others in order to say YES to yourself.
- Create a shrine, outside in nature, to commemorate your loss. The shrine serves as an outer and creative expression of your feelings. It can be something simple like some pinecones and some dried leaves. The beauty of leaving it outside is that nature will release it when it is “time”.
- Review and honor the stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Be aware that this process can and will happen out of sequence and can overlap stages.
- Time to pull out the Bach Flowers. Here are some suggested by Bach for grief:
Pine: for blaming oneself Elm: feeling that your task undertaken is too difficult
- Larch: general not feeling good enough to deserve and expect failure.
- Sweet chestnut: feeling “when anguish is so great as to seem to be unbearable” ;
- Star of Bethelehem: for “for those under distress under conditions which for a time produce great unhappiness”- situational depression/grief.
- Willow: “for those who have suffered adversity and find these difficult to accepts without complaint or resentment”
- Oak: for”brave people fighting against great difficulties, without loss of hope or effort”
“To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it.” ~ Mother Teresa
Keep a List of what feeds and nourishes your energy and fill your lamp!
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Intuitive Reminders is written by Teresa Robertson. If you have any questions or comments, please send them to:Teresa
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